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Gay Couples Have Something to Teach Straight Counterparts

Tue, 06/10/2008 - 2:30pm by LibertySugar
459 Views - 37 comments

Sure to mix up the gay marriage debate, social scientists are turning to same-sex couples to find out what makes a healthy relationship and marriage. One study analyzed how Vermont's married couples address issues like money, household work, and sex, as compared to gay couples joined in civil unions.

Some of the research findings include:

  • Same-sex partners generally share the work evenly. Conversely, in hetero relationships, the woman usually does more housework, while the man holds more financial responsibility.
  • In straight relationships, men are more likely to initiate sex, while women are more likely to refuse sex and initiate "talks" about relationship problems. But, in same-sex couples, there is a balanced sharing of such behaviors.

For some more analysis, and to find out how the groups handle arguments differently, read more.

  • Same-sex couples are less likely to become physically agitated during and after an argument.
  • Same-sex couples experienced more relationship satisfaction, suggesting that the inequality among straight partners impacts happiness.

Same-sex partners are better at relating to their partners, making it easier for them to diffuse conflict, according to experts. But the research also reassures that the differences are not rooted in biological differences between men and women. Thus, findings urge straight couples to see situations from their partners' perspectives.

California's first gay marriages are set for June 17, but that has not stopped opponents from adding a state constitutional gay marriage ban to the November ballot. When academic research purports that homosexual couples have healthier and happier relationships than their straight counterparts, does it undermine critics of gay marriage?

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37 Comments Add a Comment

  • stephley's picture
    stephley
    1

    It's a study that people who don't support gay marriage will shrug off as biased in one way or another and counter with reports of any gay divorce or custody battle that they can find.
    It's an interesting study, but it won't change anything.

    12 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Jillness's picture
    Jillness
    2

    I know a gay family...and they are so lovely. The parents are both female, and they have a daughter. It is such a fantastic environment. They are so supportive of their daughter and each other, it really is the closest to a perfect family unit I have ever witnessed. I really wish people who don't think that gay people "love" each other, or don't think that gay couples can have families could see this clan. It really breaks my heart to think of all they had to overcome to get where they are.

    12 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • megnmac's picture
    megnmac
    3

    omg. I am a man. (ha)

    This is kinda a puff piece, though I guess it dispells the annoying people that ask "which one is the wife?" when the whole point is that there isn't one.

    12 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • UnDave35's picture
    UnDave35
    4

    It's an interesting study, but the problem with hetero relationships aren't going to be helped by this. The biggest problem I've seen in this area (with hetero relationships) is in the area of communication. Young men and women aren't talking to each other like they need to to sustain a long-term relationship.

    12 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • UnDave35's picture
    UnDave35
    6

    OMG - It must be the random convergence of the universe. I said something coherent, and someone else agrees with it Eye-wink

    12 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • UnDave35's picture
    UnDave35
    7

    I have been a grumpy guss all day. I hope my kids get home soon.

    12 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • sarah_bellum's picture
    sarah_bellum
    8

    The communication issue is an excellent point. I think it also has to do with the fact that (generally speaking) men and women naturally communicate in different ways. I can imagine not having that hurdle in a relationship can really help improve stability and happiness.

    12 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • UnDave35's picture
    UnDave35
    9

    You could almost expand on that and say everyone communicates in slightly different ways. That's why you have a natural attraction to some, and a repulsion to others.

    12 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • sarah_bellum's picture
    sarah_bellum
    10

    Well, what I meant was that generally it's women who like to "talk it out" and men are a little more stoic, but yeah, you could say that. Is that why I'm repulsed by hippies? Eye-wink

    12 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Great Sommelier's picture
    Great Sommelier
    12

    Man and woman = Completely different.

    ergo

    Man Man/woman woman relationships = Completely different than Man Woman relationships.

    12 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • janneth's picture
    janneth
    13

    Maybe it's just coincidence but the gay and lesbian families I know appear to have the same challenges that hetero fams do, problems with the kids, disagreements, and the same fun and joys too.

    12 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • jennifer76's picture
    jennifer76
    15

    My anecdotal experience suggests the same thing as janneth - same sex relationships aren't really all that different from straight relationships. But, the study's conclusions seem logical.

    I do have to wonder though if the problems in heterosexual relationships aren't caused by inequality so much as power struggles. I would have to think that a relationship where the roles are clearly defined and both partners are happy with their "unbalanced" contributions would be just as healthy as a completely "equal" relationship where the roles are clearly defined and both partners are happy with their "balanced" contributions.

    12 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • hypnoticmix's picture
    hypnoticmix
    18

    Well their argument is a religious based argument and I don't think they care who's happier or who can learn from whom. They just think it's wrong and that's that.

    As for the balance of financial power I find that Gay couples tend to search out partners that are equal in financial stability which would explain that point.

    12 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • hypnoticmix's picture
    hypnoticmix
    19

    jennifer76 I know girl they are cute. I should see if they need a pool boy, LOL!

    12 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment
  • Great Sommelier's picture
    Great Sommelier
    34

    Oh, UD, I stay up way to late most nights. I start to get delirious at a certain point and THAT is when I decide to post here!

    12 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • UnDave35's picture
    UnDave35
    35

    That's good GS. I tend to turn into a pumpkin after 9pm. I put my kids to bed, and then collapse.

    12 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • Great Sommelier's picture
    Great Sommelier
    36

    Yes, most the time I am on here I have the gentle sound of my husband sawing logs to keep me company!

    12 weeks 4 days ago Report Comment
  • Auntie Coosa's picture
    Auntie Coosa
    37

    AFTER the first thousand gay-marriage divorces, post this again.

    What homosexual couples haven't really thought through is that if they are "married" in the eyes of the law, then they can't just "up and leave" when they find someone they like better. They'll have to go through Divorce Court. And in Commonwealth and Community Property States, divorce takes on a personality of its own.

    I have one close friend who's had three lesbian partners. The first two "partners" found other women they were more interested in (or loved) and left her with no afterthought. The last, unfortunately, had an accident and died from complications.

    As I said, repost this article after the Courts have handled the first thousand gay-marriage divorces.

    9 weeks 5 days ago Report Comment

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